Yep, still India

I got to work this morning at 9am – I had gifted myself an extra few hours of sleep. I would have gone longer, but the neighbor started his daily chanting at 9am on the dot – I’ve come to learn he typically does this between 9am and noon. Chant, that is, not wake people up. Not really sure what he’s saying but the melodic shouting is now stuck in my head.

After lazing around I made my way downstairs where Kamul was already perched ready to see if I needed or wanted anything. In rapid succession I took in breakfast, a quick nap, and then I was ready for the day. Last minute shopping, gym, and packing here I came.

Stepping out into the heat was my first friendly reminder that yes, I’m still in India. After 5-minutes walking I was drenched in sweat and dirt. I started making my way up to Abs dodging the requisite motorists and animals and suddenly realized I was not winning the obstacle course this time.

Right foot, left foot, right foot – shit (sorry for the cussing if you’re reading this Grandma)! Walking up the road I landed right in the middle of a pile of you guessed it (don’t need to cuss twice, you get the picture). And no, this isn’t the kind you find in San Francisco. This one was cow plop. Maybe some would say that was a blessing from these holy creatures and having my leg swimming in it would bring me luck, but I sure didn’t feel like it. Odd one out.

It is kind of funny, though, and definitely an ism – walking through a relatively commercial area on the way to shopping and being accosted by nature.

Finally I made it to the Pyramid – the mini-mall up the road. Inside I made my way through the aisles of gold and diamonds (each stall I passed revealed a sales person who followed me for a few steps past their stall), and up to the clothing section. Here a friendly clerk followed me from rack to rack uttering “you like this madam?” Maybe they work on commission, or maybe it’s just the salesy culture, but it was not helping the cause. Fifty “you like this madam”s later and I found a few winners.

At the desk a confused looking clerk wasn’t quite sure what to do with the mix of shirts and jewelry I bought. The bar code worked and each time he clicked it the beeping noise seemed to shock him. We hit trouble when one of the bracelets’ barcodes didn’t work – instead of the cheerful “beap” and “blarech” came out. This led to three other clerks coming over all to stare at the bracelet, then the barcode, then the computer, and back to the bracelets again. By this time a line had formed and other shoppers were getting antsy. Finally the clerk keyed in the code and we were set.

One of the shirts was a bit long so I asked for a tailor. Immediately a young man and young girl came running out to assist. The girl held a tape-measure and the man a notebook – not sure why this was a 2-person job, but whatever. They asked how much shorter and I pointed. They asked if any other alterations were needed and I shook my head no (big mistake).

After the second question the man started measuring every bit of me while I attempted to say “only the length only the length!” the girl giggling the whole time. I wonder if they understood but just felt like having a bit of fun at the whiteys’ expense… After having to fill out piles of paperwork and not really knowing what was going on, I was handed a slip and told to return in an hour.

OK, shopping done, time for the gym. I made my way the next 2-blocks (and 20minutes) up the road to the building housing Abs. Once there I was greeted by the familiar construction tape and dirt which I quickly walked past climbing into the elevator. A man came running after me to push the button to the roof and up we went. Two floors away from the roof he looked at me and said “Abs?” “Yes” I replied. “Oh, that’s closed.” Great…

Back to the ground floor and out into the heat I decided to skip the workout and make my way to my new favorite Chinese restaurant for lunch. Today the place was packed with about twice as many patrons as yesterday. I asked for a table for one and immediately three people came over to look at me then walk me to a table. I was guided past the bustling restaurant and into a side area where there was no-one else. 15-tables (yes, I counted, what else are you supposed to do in a restaurant alone with no book) and no-one except me. I didn’t feel different at all. The meal again was great. At the end of lunch I was handed a survey and promptly gave the service and food all 5s with a nice note about the ambiance. The waiter who picked up the survey read it first in front of me (as soon as it was in his hands) and then ran to all the other waiters to show them. Not very discrete and boy am I glad I didn’t write anything bad.

652 isms later and I made it home. Kamul was standing by the front door and looked startled when I walked in. He was even more taken aback that I had left-overs and he didn’t need to cook dinner. I made my way upstairs and am now looking at the piles of clothes and work supplies I have to cram into my suitcase. A new challenge and almost as daunting as trying to cross the street…here goes!

Yep, I’m still in India and it’s still…India.