Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Looking through you

When we’re kids our mother’s say “look at me when I talk to you.” My old boss analogized this term to pertain to the workplace describing the importance of eye contact. More people need to remember this advice. There are three kinds of looking through (or “throughlook”).
These are:
1) I’m better than you and therefore don’t see you
a. This kind is often seen in first class on airplanes, wealthy areas, and the financial district in San Francisco. People are so important, or think they are anyhow, that they don’t see those around them who are ‘beneath them.’ This same concept exists in India where people don’t even see those in lower castes.

2) I’m looking at me, how can I look at you?
a. People who ask “how are you” and before you have a chance to answer start talking about their most recent business deal or purchase are looking within. Their eyes may rest on another – but this is only to get the other person’s attention so they can share their very important life and ideas.

3) Free love
a. This glazed over stare is usually found in the Tenderloin or on “hot” street corners. Daniel and I experience this stare daily while driving home while trying to dodge the people darting into the street…the people dodging life by escaping it.

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